Sisters!
What a wonderful Evening Meeting! Naomi and Ruth are such an inspiration to how
we love one another. Thank you for the smiles, laughs, and the way you were an
example to me on being a friend and learning to accept, communicate, and love
each other. When we reach out to each other, we are being Christ like. Elder
James E. Talmage of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, "The world's
greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus Christ." We definitely
made the Lord smile upon us last night.
Love to you all. Cami
RUTH Scripture Story of Love,
Relationships and Communication
Chapter 1
v Naomi, Elimelech and sons are Israelites. They lived in Bethlehem during the time of
the Judges in the Old Testament. Because
of famine they made the decision to move to Moab. The Moabite people were idol
worshippers. Their sons married Moabite
women. Which means they married outside
of the church.
v Naomi's sons and husband died.
v Naomi decides it is better for her to move back to
Bethlehem where she might find help and support.
Verses
8-11
8 And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go,
return each to her mother’s house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have
dealt with the dead, and with me.
9
The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her
husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept.
10
And they said unto her, Surely we will return with thee unto thy people.
11
And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me?
Ø What might Naomi be thinking? In our relationships do we push people
away? When in reality they are the
people we need the most!
Ø How might Ruth have responded to this rejection?
Verses
14-16
14 And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and
Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.
15
And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto
her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
16
And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from afollowing after
thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:
thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
Verse
16 shows that Ruth was converted to
the Gospel.
Ø Why do you think it is important to our relationships
for us to be converted to the Gospel?
Ø A testimony is something we have to nurture to help to
grow-How does that relate to our relationships?
Verse
20
20 And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me
Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.
v Naomi means "Sweet or Pleasant"-Mara-means
"Bitter or Very Sad"
I think they were expressing in this
verse that it was not Naomi's nature to be "Bitter or Very Sad".
Ø Why does our nature make a difference? Why does that matter?
Hard times come and tests the resolve we
have in our relationship. How we respond
is a choice...
Chapter
2
Verse
2
2 And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go
to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find
grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter.
Ø Naomi allows Ruth to provide service for her. How does this affect a relationship?
Ø Ruth is a "doer"-is that of help in a
relationship? Is it necessary for us to
be doers?
Verses
5-16
v Boaz is a near kinsman to Naomi
5 Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the
reapers, Whose damsel is this?
6
And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, It is the
Moabitish damsel that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab:
7 And she said, I pray you, let me glean and gather
after the reapers among the sheaves: so she came, and hath continued even from
the morning until now, that she tarried a little in the house.
8
Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not, my daughter? Go not to glean in
another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens:
9
Let thine eyes be on the field that they do reap, and go thou after them: have
I not charged the young men that they shall not touch thee? and when thou art
athirst, go unto the vessels, and drink of that which the young men have drawn.
10
Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him,
Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me,
seeing I am a stranger?
11
And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that
thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how
thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art
come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.
12 The Lord recompense thy work, and a
full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art
come to trust.
13
Then she said, Let me find favour in thy sight, my lord; for that thou hast
comforted me, and for that thou hast spoken friendly unto thine handmaid,
though I be not like unto one of thine handmaidens.
14
And Boaz said unto her, At mealtime come thou hither, and eat of the bread, and
dip thy morsel in the vinegar. And she sat beside the reapers: and he reached
her parched corn, and she did eat, and was sufficed, and left.
15
And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let
her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not:
16
And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that
she may glean them, and rebuke her not.
17
So she gleaned in the field until even, and beat out that she had gleaned: and
it was about an ephah of barley.
Ø These verses are rich with hard work, kindness, respect
and humility...Why are those qualities a huge asset in relationship?
Ø Hard work?
Chapter
3
v Naomi gives Ruth advise as to how to approach Boaz...
Verses
3-4
3 Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy
raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known
unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.
4
And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he
shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and
he will tell thee what thou shalt do.
v Ruth is obedient to Naomi's guidance...they are
working together...taking guidance and direction from each other.
9 And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am
Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou
art a near kinsman.
v Spread therefore thy skirt over thine
handmaid-Hebraist proposal-An expression of "protect me or be my protector
or husband". Ruth is proposing to
Boaz...
10
And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed
more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou
followedst not young men, whether poor or rich.
11
And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for
all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.
Ø Do we allow our husbands to protect us? Are we grateful for what they do to provide
for us-do we prattle on about what we don't have, instead of expressing
gratitude for what we do have?
Ø He expresses to Ruth that she is a virtuous
woman? What does a virtuous woman look
like today?
Chapter
4
v By law the nearest kinsman is the one that has the
right to marry. Boaz is not the nearest
kinsman. So he is required to petition
the nearest for the hand in marriage. So
he had to go negotiate to be able to marry Ruth.
Verses
13-15, 17
13 ¶So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he
went in unto her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bare a son.
14
And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be the Lord, which hath not left thee
this day without a kinsman, that his name may be famous in Israel.
15
And he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life, and a nourisher of thine old
age: for thy daughter in law, which loveth thee, which is better to thee than
seven sons, hath born him.
17 And the women her neighbours gave it a name, saying,
There is a son born to Naomi; and they called his name Obed: he is the father
of Jesse, the father of David.
v Christ is descended through this blood line. What conclusion can you draw thinking about
that?
The 5 Love Languages
Written by Gary Chapman
The quiz for wife's and husband's followed by a brief description of each of the five love languages...obviously the book has much discussion
The Love Language
Wife's Quiz:
1. A) I like to receive love notes from my husband.
E) I like to be hugged by my husband.
2. B) I like to spend one-to-one time with my
husband.
D) I feel loved when my husband gives practical
help to me.
3. C) I like it when my husband give me gifts.
B) I like leisurely visits and long trips with
my husband.
4. D) I feel loved when my husband does things to
help me.
E) I feel loved when my husband touches me.
5. E) I feel loved when my husband puts his arm
around me.
C) I feel loved when my husband surprises me
with a gift.
6. B) I like to go almost anywhere with my husband.
E) I like to hold hands with my husband.
7. C) Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very
important to me.
A) I feel loved when my husband tells me he
loves me.
8. E) I like to sit close to my husband.
A) I like for my husband to tell me I am
attractive.
9. B) I like to spend time with my husband.
C) I like to receive little gifts from my
husband.
10. A) Words of acceptance, especially from my
husband, are important to me.
D) I know my husband loves me when he helps me.
11. B) I like being together and doing things with
my husband.
A) I like it when my husband speaks kind words
to me.
12. D) What my husband does affects me more than
what he says.
E) Hugs make me feel connected to and valued by
my husband.
13. A) I value praise from my husband.
C) Small, meaningful gifts from my husband shows
me how much he cares.
14. B) I feel close to my husband when we are talking
or doing something together.
E) I feel closer to my husband when he touches
me often.
15. A) I like for my husband to compliment my
achievements.
D) I know my husband loves me when he helps me
with something he hates.
16. E) I like to be touched as my husband walks by.
B) I like it when my husband shows genuine
interest in what I am saying.
17. D) I feel loved when my husband helps me with
jobs or projects.
C) I really enjoy receiving gifts from my
husband.
18. A) I like for my husband to compliment my
appearance.
B) I feel loved when my husband takes time to
understand my feelings.
19. E) I feel secure when my husband is touching me.
D) When my husband runs errands for me, it makes
me feel loved.
20. D) I appreciate the many things that my husband
does for me.
C) I like the thoughtful gifts that my husband
makes for me.
21. B) I really enjoy the feeling I get when my
husband gives me undivided attention.
D) I really enjoy the feeling I get when my
husband cleans the house for me.
22. C) I feel loved when my husband celebrates my
birthday with a gift.
A) I feel loved when my husband tells me how
important I am to him.
23. C) I know my husband is thinking of me when he
gives me a gift.
D) I feel loved when my husband helps with my
chores.
24. B) I appreciate it when my husband listens
patiently and doesn’t interrupt me.
C) I never get tired of receiving gifts from my
husband.
25. D) I like knowing my husband is concerned enough
to help with my daily tasks.
B) I enjoy taking trips with my husband, no
matter where we go.
26. E)
I enjoy kissing & cuddling with my husband.
C) I enjoy surprise gifts from my husband.
27. A) My husband’s encouraging words give me
confidence.
B) I like to watch movies with my husband.
28. C) Gifts from my husband are always special to
me.
E) I love it when my husband can’t keep his
hands off me.
29. D) I feel loved when my husband enthusiastically
helps me despite being busy.
A) I feel loved when my husband tells me how
much I am appreciated.
30. E) I love hugging and kissing my husband after
we’ve been apart for a while.
A) I love hearing my husband tell me that he
missed me.
Now that you’re finished, count the
number of times you wrote down each letter.
One of them should seem more dominant than the others. That one will be
your love language!! Sometimes there can be two that are fairly close but one
is always dominant. Just means you are
maybe more versatile in language...but always remember one is usually the
strongest and is the goal.
Mostly A’s: Words of Affirmation
Mostly B’s: Quality Time
Mostly C’s: Receiving Gifts
Mostly D’s: Acts of Service
Mostly E’s: Physical Touch
The Love Language for
Husbands Quiz:
1. A) My wife's love notes make me feel good.
E) I love my wife's hugs.
2. B) I like to be alone with my wife.
D) I feel loved when my wife helps me with my
work.
3. C) Receiving special gifts from my wife makes me
happy.
B) I enjoy long trips with my wife.
4. D) I feel loved when my wife does my laundry.
E) I like it when my wife touches me.
5. E) I feel loved when my wife puts her arm around
me.
C) I feel know my wife loves me because she
surprises me with gifts.
6. B) I like to go almost anywhere with my wife.
E) I like to hold my wife's hand.
7. C) I value the gifts my wife gives to me.
A) I love to hear my wife say she loves me.
8. E) I like for my wife to sit close to me.
A) My wife tells me I look good, and I like that.
9. B) Spending time with my wife makes me happy.
C) Even the smallest gift from my wife makes me
feel good.
10. A) I feel loved when my wife tells me she is
proud of me.
D) When my wife cooks a meal for me, I know that
she loves me.
11. B) No matter what we do, I love doing things
with my wife.
A) Supportive comments from my wife make me feel
good.
12. D) Little things my wife does for me mean more
to me than things she says.
E) I love to hug my wife.
13. A) My wife's praise means a lot to me.
C) It means a lot to me that my wife gives me
gifts I really like.
14. B) Just being around my wife makes me feel good.
E) I love it when my wife rubs my back.
15. A) My wife's reaction to my accomplishments are
so encouraging.
D) It means a lot to me when my wife helps with
something I know she hates.
16. E) I never get tired of my wife's kisses.
B) I love that my wife shows real interest in
things I like to do.
17. D) I can count on my wife to help me with
projects.
C) I still get excited when opening a gift from
my wife.
18. A) I love for my wife to compliment my
appearance.
B) I love that my wife listens to my ideas and
doesn't rush to judge or critize.
19. E) I can't help but touch my wife when she's
close by.
D) My wife sometimes runs errands for me, and I
appreciate that.
20. D) My wife deserves an award for all things she
does to help me.
C) I'm sometimes amazed at how thoughtful my
wife's gifts to me are.
21. B) I love having my wife's undivided attention.
D) Keeping the house clean is an important act
of service.
22. C) I look forward to seeing what my wife gives
me for my birthday.
A) I never get tired of hearing my wife tell me
that I am important to her.
23. C) My wife lets me know she loves me by giving
me gifts.
D) My wife shows her love by helping me catch up
on projects around the house.
24. B) My wife doesn't interrupt me when I am
talking, and I like that.
C) I never get tired of receiving gifts from my
wife.
25. D) My wife can tell when I'm tired, and she's
good about asking how she can help.
B) It doesn't matter where we go, I just like
going places with my wife.
26. E)
I love having sex with my wife.
C) I love surprise gifts from my wife.
27. A) My wife's encouraging words give me
confidence.
B) I love to watch movies with my wife.
28. C) I could not ask for any better gifts than my
wife gives me.
E) I just can't keep my hands off my wife.
29. D) It means a lot to me when my wife helps me
despite having other things to do.
A) It makes me feel really good when my wife
tells me she appreciates me.
30. E) I love hugging and kissing my wife after
we've been apart for a while.
A) I love hearing my wife tell me she believes
in me.
Now that you’re finished, count the
number of times you wrote down each letter.
One of them should seem more dominant than the others. That one will be
your love language!! Sometimes there can
be two that are fairly close but one is always dominant. Just means you are maybe more versatile in
language...but always remember one is usually the strongest and is the goal.
Mostly A’s: Words of Affirmation
Mostly B’s: Quality Time
Mostly C’s: Receiving Gifts
Mostly D’s: Acts of Service
Mostly E’s: Physical Touch
The
universal language of Gratitude is important no matter what love language you
may speak...being Grateful is a God given principle...we must always be
grateful to our spouses, children and friends.
Strong and wonderful relationships are built and sustained on a grateful
heart!
Words of
Affirmation
Mark Twain once said, "I can
live for two months on a good compliment."
If we take Twain literally, six compliments a year would have kept his
emotional love tank at the operational level. Your spouse will probably need
more.
One way to express love emotionally
is to use words that build up. Solomon,
author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, "The tongue has the
power of life and death."
Actions
don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language,
unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,”
are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
This
involves providing honest, authentic, genuine, and focused compliments and
positive, affirming words of encouragement. These help build another’s self
image and confidence.
Examples: Say how nice someone looks or
how great dinner tasted, compliment another’s haircut or clothing, verbalize
what a great job someone did, make a big deal about someone’s efforts /work,
whisper romantic sweet-nothings, etc
Keys: Focus on the other person’s
successes, strengths, and interests / dreams she is passionate about. Remember,
we cannot read each other’s minds! Writing a note or letter with affirming
words is great because it can be revisited as desired.
Important: Sarcasm, discourtesy, harsh
tones, negative attitudes, and judgment deeply affect people who draw love
energy from words of affirmation.
Quality Time
In
the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full,
undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but
really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and
tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially
hurtful.
Show
someone how much he/she means to you by setting aside special time with your
full and undivided attention to just “be together”, focus on each other, and
participate in shared activities / experiences.
Examples: Plan a grandiose or simple
date night, go to a baseball game, take a walk around the neighborhood, enjoy
dinner or dessert at a restaurant or quietly at home, embark on a road trip,
etc.
Keys: Intentionally set aside the time
to focus on the other person, and let her know you are doing that so she can
look forward to and more intently enjoy the time together.
Important: Do not appear distracted or
hurried. Often it is a good idea to mute common distractions like television
noise or a ringing / buzzing cell phone. When communicating during this time,
offer more sympathy and less advice, more questions and fewer solutions. Focus
on the person and not the problems.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t
mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on
the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this
language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared
for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be
disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
This
often gets a bad “WRAP” (buh duh chhzzz… haha) in our materialistic American
culture. People who love through / with gifts appreciate any type of gift,
large or small. For example, while your wife will probably not complain if you
surprise her with swankily shimmering and sparkling jewelry, just picking up her favorite kind of candy or
a single rose on the way home from work can make her heart melt.
Examples: A gift she has mentioned on a
previous outing, a goofy toy that will make her laugh, hand-made arts / crafts,
a favorite food or drink, a gift card to her favorite store, etc.
Keys: Gifts are visual symbols of love
that demonstrate you listen to and care about her wants and needs. Ye old adage that the value of a gift is in the
eye of the beholder is important to remember! Keep a stash of small gifts at
home that you can pull out as needed when your spouse has had a particularly
difficult day. For a gift receiver: It is OK to directly communicate the types
of gifts you like!
Important: When receiving a gift from a
gift giver, not appearing thankful or expressing gratitude can really hurt the
giver’s feelings.
Acts of Service
Can
vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you
do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service”
person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do
that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell
speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Communicate
that you truly care for, enjoy and appreciate your spouse by going out of your
way to joyfully serve him/her by completing activities without being asked.
This definitely explains why some women get quite hot and bothered when their
husbands wash dishes, vacuum, or perform other household chores.
Examples: Hang a picture, wash a car or
the dishes, take out the trash, clean up around the house, organize the
cabinets, bathe the kids, etc.
Keys: Perform the activity JOYFULLY and
make a special effort to complete activities the other person particularly
dislikes. It is absolutely OK to “toot your own horn” and let your spouse know
you did this for him / her as long as you communicate in a positive,
non-”score-counting”, and non-condescending way.
Important: It is important to complete
the activities as the OTHER person prefers, not
necessarily the way you think they should be done. The receiver of this gift of time cannot
expect the chore list is not out of their hands and the sole responsibility of
the giver...working as a team has value and is important.
Physical Touch
This
language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is
Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back,
holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can
all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and
accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and
destructive.
Whether
it is a simple touch on the shoulder, a gentle hug, or a passionate kiss, physical touch is a powerful method for
communicating your love for and comfort with someone.
Examples: Holding hands, a lingering
hug, putting your arm around another, a massage after a long day, etc. Your
imagination can go wild here…
Keys: Seek and give appropriate touch
for the situation, environment, and relationship. Be aware of what makes the
other person uncomfortable.
Important: For Husbands – It's Not About Sex (and foreplay matters)!
For Wives – Your Husbands love Sex!
